Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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