I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
