We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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