Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
