Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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