: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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