put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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