They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
