Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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