it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
