You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
