just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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