i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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