Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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