I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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