I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The uberlube is also flammable
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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