I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize