pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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