I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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