i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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