some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
