Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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