just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
