Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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