You're completely useless in the revolution.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
