you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize