I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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