There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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