Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
