And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
