he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
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