Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
