Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
