Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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