Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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