Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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