Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Come on in and take your pants off
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