after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
