I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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