just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
