Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This is my gift to your gina
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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