I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
there is glitter all over my balls
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
