At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
