Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How naked do you want me to be?
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