There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
