At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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