whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My pussy is not your playground.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
