32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
