I think I am morally bankrupt
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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