I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
