i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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