PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
