sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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