I think scott just propositioned me for sex
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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