Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
