That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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