i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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