dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
