She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize