I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
how drunk are you?
Several
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
