Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
