I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
