I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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