College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
