How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
