I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My feet surprised me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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