Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
