I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
