So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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