Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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