Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize