Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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