Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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