Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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