A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
