im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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