playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
