If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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