I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
