I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's shark week go big or go home
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
